Ore-going to Portland

 Get it?

 We've been in the Pacific Northwest now for about 2 weeks. Splitting time between Portland, Olympia, Wa and Longview, Wa means lots of driving. For now, Lucia and I are living in Olympia, Matt is working and staying some nights in Longview and then we've all been making trips to Portland. Oh yeah, and our stuff is in Shelton, Wa. I'm excited for the day (in the hopefully near future) where the three of us and all our stuff are in one place! For now, it's fun to see family and friends in the area and get reacquainted with Washington and Oregon.

But to go back a bit into our journey out here (I'll do another post soon on the time between and August and now)...

 Matt left back in August so we had great time with special friends before he left. Here was our last hang out time with Janine, Aaron and Zeke. Lucia is trying to put her arm around Zeke.

 Last Wallgren family hang out at Depot Nuevo in Wilmette

 Heidi and Charley's wedding was a great time and a great chance to hang out with World Relief co-workers.

 And our last Johnson family hang out. We played a big game in the back yard, lots of fun as usual with this bunch.

 Then once Matt left it was a lot of mom and Lucia time...

 Fast forward a few months and we were already packing up the truck. Nice work Linnea and Greta!

And hanging out with special friends for one last time.

Matt came home on Halloween to help pack up the truck and then drive the car out. We got a little trick-or-treating in with our little grumpy Tinkerbell.

But she was much happier once daddy came back.

And then a little Halloween craziness at Linnea and Cam's.

The party was over...time to get this truck packed up

And we used up every square inch of space we could

 Pushing the wall to make it fit!

 Phew, that was close

We had a fun party with friends and family to say see you later (not good-bye)

 On the last day of hanging out with the fam, we had the pleasure of going through all of the childhood dresses my mom made us girls growing up and even got to take some for our own girls.

 Modeling some of the 'good' ones

The girls all looked so cute in them!

I just had to take one last picture on our drive out! And then we were off...

Some parts of the country more boring than others

Because we didn't have a swimsuit handy and couldn't find anywhere still selling them, Lucia had to settle for this Wal-mart get up. Matt's comment "she looks like her parents shop at Wal-mart".

 At the Great Salt Lake

 Utilizing the sweet 'smile timer' on my camera that takes pictures automatically when one in the group smiles.

We made a little stop at this cool nature walk/park in Boise, Idaho

 It had cool river viewing windows to see the fish swimming.

 Last stop in picturesque Enterprise, Oregon

Oregon on our side, Washington on the other side of the Columbia river.

 Lots of this in the car which was good.

 And then we got to Portland and it was off to a park after five long days in the car!

And another park the next day. This will surely be one of our faves, Mt Tabor in Portland.

Who says it rains all the time here?

 Lots of time with Nate in Portland. He's always so good at taking us in and showing us the good parts:)

 Bingo...obviously

 And day, another beautiful park in Portland

 We've spent some time outside but also inside, like at this cool play space in Tacoma that Lucia loved.

 Life here is so far, so good. Like I said, it'll be even better when we're full time in Portland:) I'll post more soon! It has been hard to get back on the blog without internet at home but I will find a way.

Still Here (and trying to be present)

Ever been in a phase of life when everyone you see asks you the same question? 

"So how's the wedding planning going?" - To Every Engaged Person

"So how are you feeling?" - To Every Pregnant person

"So how's school?" - To Every person aged 4-22

"So how's Matt? When's the move date?" - To Me

I should just make a shirt with this on it...

This particular image is from THIS Etsy store
that I want to remember so that I can buy stuff from it

So to answer this question for the ba-jillion-ith time: no solid move date yet (yet hoping to solidify plans in the next few days), Matt is still looking for a job and I hope to be out there soon..like by the beginning of November. But it's still hard to say.

In the meantime, Matt is out in Portland and I am here in Wilmette. Besides being apart from my best friend for waaaay too long, I'm having a pretty good time. Not because I'm unemployed and spending much quality time with Lucia, friends and family, all super great, but because I feel like I'm really living each day at a time for once in a long while. I have lots of time on my hands and because I'm in this funny transition period, I don't really want to get involved in too much here. I have so much time on my hands that I actually get bored. What a gift. No, for real.

I like being done with being busy for a little while and having time to start the day right with mindful reading, time to be present with Lucia, time to think about eating right (I'm not actually at the 'eating right' part :), time to be outside, to go for walks, do yoga, cook food and take the occasional nap. Basically---time to detox my mind, remember that each day brings it's own troubles and refresh with peace daily.

So right about now, you're thinking "what a pompous jerk. She just has soooo much time on her hands that she takes naps, boo hoo". And I would agree with you BUT it's not actually easy to be bored. You ever tried it? Ever tried being bored and not turning to some sort of device about 3 seconds later? I don't know about you, but when I have a free moment I tend to:

A) check my phone
B) check Facebook
C) turn on the TV

And in that order. It has taken me a while to turn those tendencies off in my brain and decide instead to read a great book, be fully present with my daughter and engage instead of always trying to get something done when I'm with her or sit outside and really notice the beauty of my surroundings. The positive effects on the brain are amazing. Awareness and gratefulness are powerful tools for good. If you know anything about the science of mindfulness then you know that just being aware and grateful in the small moments of your day can literally rewire the brain towards all things good. (The bible is a testament to this but I always love when science backs these ancient ideas up as well.)

As I continue to plan for this transition of moving (by not actually doing that much to prepare for it- oops), I try to stay present here while I'm still here. And as I try to stay fully here, I've noticed something going on in my brain. Whenever I feel content, my brain says to itself something like "okay, this is good, let's remember this so we can get back here when things get rough". Which is fine, except its completely impractical. Anticipating the difficulties that will surely come, my mind wants to stockpile all the good here and bring it along. But it doesn't really work like that. In light of this, my mind jumps to ponder manna, like the manna from the Bible that the wandering Israelites gathered each day to provide for each day. In one translation of the Bible (NIV) it says about the manna that "in the morning there was a layer of dew around the camp. When the dew was gone, thin flakes like frost on the ground appeared on the desert floor". This kind of blew my mind. I guess because I've always pictured the whole manna thing in my mind like this: the people asked God for bread and then the clouds opened up and cracker-like bread came immediately, raining down on them as they opened their mouths to catch it like snowflakes on their tongues and each day went on like this as bread miraculously fell from the sky. You know---the movie version. But as it turns out, the manna looked like something totally normal, like flakes on the ground after the dew dried. They didn't even know what it was and Moses had to tell them it was bread.

I guess the amazing thing about all this is that God provided manna every single day as He instructed them to take only what they needed for the day. And this nourishing bread turned out to be something that looked really ordinary to them. Which brings me back to trying to stockpile the good here and now to use in the future. The manna reminded me that it doesn't work like that. I have to show up everyday---meditate on the good, renew my mind, make relationships right--every day. When I show up, God does too, reminding me that sometimes the most profound peace comes in seemingly ordinary moments like reading a great book, being present and engaged with my daughter or noticing my surroundings. And as much as I would like each great moment to last, they don't. But that's a good thing, because then I can enjoy the fleeting goodness now, trusting that there will be more tomorrow...wherever I am.

July in the Chi

We've stayed busy this month and I've *tried* to capture what I can cause you know-- time is fleeting. Soaking in the great cooler summer weather and all the special time with family and friends.

 Forth of July parade in Winnetka with the cousins. After 30 years--28 of those living in Winnetka-- this was my first time going to a parade there. We were never around for Memorial Day or 4th of July growing up. Lucia had a blast and immediately ate all pieces of candy that she acquired, using her bag for gathering candy as a trash bag for the wrappers instead.

Cam rocked a pretty sweet patriotic outfit.

Then it was off to Noah and Corries to party up on their roof.

Like usual, it wasn't long before Lucia stripped down to her diaper.

The guys were once again reliving the glory of winning the Superbowl back in February---the natural thing to do at a 4th of JULY party, right?

There was a beautiful sunset then time for some 360 degree firework gazing up on the roof. It was bittersweet since Noah and Corrie moved a few weeks later, making this the last time hanging out at their place.

 

Lots of good times and memories, we'll miss hanging out here. We do look forward to hanging out with the Fletchers in Seattle! Not too far from where we'll be.

 

 

I realized I don't have a picture of Noah and Corrie from that night but I do have a pic of those lovely chairs :)

Greta and Scott went on vacation, leaving us with some quality time watching their three girls. A little crazy at times with the whole gang of girls but fun overall.

Making nature soup

Wagon ride to run around on some nearby hills

Snack time for Renee

Sprinkler time

Why not fill a pirate booty bag with water?

Our church has been working hard to get a new playground and play space finished. Here were some of the kids playing for the first time on the new equipment.

At the koi fish pond at Old Orchard

At the Village Green park in Winnetka

 

Lucia and Naomi told me they wanted to wash their car so I got them some supplies and let them have at it.

Summer Night Live with Jim the magician at church. Lucia didn't make it all the way through, she got freaked out during the middle and we had to take a little break inside.

At the 'rocket ship park' (Sunset Woods) in Highland Park

At Indian Boundary Park in Chicago with some friends. We've found some great parks around here this summer.

One of Lucia's go-to games is asking if you want ice cream and then running off to 'get some for you', 'just pretend', so Lucia was in heaven with this little play ice cream truck.

"Cheese!!!"

This is a face Lucia makes a lot these days-- squinty eyes and big toothy smile. It's not like she's posing for a picture, I think it's the result of us randomly looking at her and smiling---now she's doing it back to us. This is from a special coffee date we had in the garden at Tre Kronor, the perfect Chicago summer spot.

I have been loving life with Lucia now that I am not working and have more time with her. Especially fun is to see her learn new things and see how her brain puts them all together. She can say almost complete sentences almost completely all the time. My favorite of her wrong uses of words is saying "there her is", saying 'anymore' after everything, and her over excitement to say a sentence that turns into stuttering. And my favorite recent moment was when she found a scrap of paper with writing on it. She picked it up, ran her finger over the words like she was reading it and said, "it says, I love my mommy!" 

Lucia generally is really 'bringing it' in everything she does but she can especially 'bring it' when it comes to becoming an emotional wreck after A) not getting something she wants or B) getting something she wants taken away. But I secretly sometimes love those moments too, like when she crosses her arms tightly while proclaiming "humph" over and over again, raising her arms over her head and down to chest again for further emphasis. Also funny is when she gets annoyed and lets out a throaty "ugh!", pouting her lip and stomping around. Somehow, Matt and I each think she got her attitude from the other so apparently there is enough attitude in this family to go around. 

I love it most when she is being my sweet little girl, the one who gives me a kiss on the cheek just because or instigates to help clean up her spills or takes care of her baby dolls so gently and carefully but especially when she gave me an extra, and extra long, hug last night when she knew I felt sick. Those are the best moments.

We're Moving

And this is where we'll be...

If you know us well, you might be thinking "what else is new?" We have moved many times but this time, everything will be new...sort of. New city, new church, new friends, new surroundings and hopefully new kids someday to join us there. At the same time, we will be closer to Matt's side of our family and some long time friends but these old relationships will be negotiated in new ways which makes them new too.

In two weeks, Matt will be done with his job in Chicago and heading out to Portland, Oregon to look for a job there. Lucia and I will stay here in Chicago and join him (hopefully in the next few months) once it makes sense for all of us to be out there (aka: there is some job prospect and therefore we can pay rent). We have been talking about moving for a while now, in fact since we were married 8 years ago, so it's exciting to be making some real steps towards this move. But it's complicated.

We have moved before, and have moved much greater distances at that, but this time feels more severe. This time, after moving one million times, we would like to settle a bit. This gets complicated when half of the people in our lives are excited about this (the Northwest half) and the other half is sad about it (the Chicago half). The reaction is usually one of the three: "Yay, you're moving closer to us!" from the Northwest crowd, "I'm so jealous, I want to move back!" from the Northwest transplants living in Chicago, or "Why would you do such a crazy thing like that, moving away from family/friends and the best city ever?" from all the Chicagoans in our life. That's the complicated thing about having multiple places that your family calls home. So what do we do? We're just gonna go ahead and make another place our home. And who knows what the future will hold for us, maybe other places to call home too.

So back to that gnawing question: Why would we move away from the amazing family, friends, church community, great weather (ha, just kidding), that we have here in Chicago? You know, I can't really answer that question. It's complicated. I can tell you we are sad to be leaving everyone and everything special to us here. For me, it's home. I'll miss the unique smell of spring, the sound of cicadas in the summer, sometimes even the multitudes of snow in the winter and of course all the people here that I love. There are so many and I will deeply miss each one of you. I will miss seeing your faces. I am grateful to each person and place from my home here that made me who I am today. I was reading a book on an unrelated topic, part of it talking about leaving the familiar and how it is because of a great home, not in spite of a bad one, that we even can leave to explore new places, becoming fuller versions of ourselves in the process.

There are many reasons why we are excited about living in Portland. Some of them are practical and tangible, others are harder to put into words. Amongst all the preparations and unknowns that come along with them, I sometimes get nervous about what we are stepping into as we leave the familiar for all things new but just then--there is that still, small, inner voice simply assuring me that it will be okay. And that's all I really need right now. So we go forward to explore because life is just too short not to.

 A quote I came across today that gets me even more excited about our new adventure...

“The great affair, the love affair with life, is to live as variously as possible, to groom one's curiosity like a high-spirited thoroughbred, climb aboard, and gallop over the thick, sun-struck hills every day. 

Where there is no risk, the emotional terrain is flat and unyielding, and, despite all its dimensions, valleys, pinnacles, and detours, life will seem to have none of its magnificent geography, only a length. It began in mystery, and it will end in mystery, but what a savage and beautiful country lies in between.”

—Diane Ackerman